THIS is Madness

Sunday, June 29, 2008

SundaySecret ~ and a little something extra

Madness followed the link on PostSecret this week to another cool blogspot .. click here to check it out and read the story behind this photo .. you can thank me later. Click here to visit ifoundyourcamera Success Story page.

And heres this weeks MadSecret :

Which one is your fav?

~ Daddy'oh Day ~

This is a story in pictures for your viewing pleasure ...

How Daddy'o Learned Rotham to FearNothing and hop down the deck stairs.
It's also the story of BritBritOnasis sayin "Nuh-uh-No-way am I goin down those steps. Forget It" and she meant it.
At one point Brit was pacing the top of the stairs whining and whimpering .. then she looked over the edge of the deck and jumped off.. like that makes any sense.

Eh. Enjoy.Brit on the deck, hiding under ThreeDollahChair... Daddy'o put a piece of bratwurst in front of her to lure her to the stairs.

Gobble. Im still not going down those steps.

Rotham learned to sit just about that fast too. Hims a good boy.

By Populer Demand ... yes HUH!

Some of you creepy stalkers readers have been blowin Madness email and MySpace up asking to see the freakin rae of sunshine that is Madness these days.

So here you have it stalkers readers. The new header is a quick snap I took with my beloved Cannon FancyPants KodakEasyShare C813. The only thing I did to the photo was add the coloring book effect. No colors have been photoshop'd because Madness doesnt know squat tart about photoshop.. so yeah, that really is the color of my eyes and yes my hair is orange and yellow no my hair isnt orange and yellow .. its fire.

And this is a quick shot that shows what it really looks like and yeah .. I kinda like it.

Thursday, June 26, 2008


Madness makes no damn sense. (we all knew this, right?)

Madness decided she needed to lighten up her chocolate brown hair in order for it to take the burgundy dye. Madness tried the peroxide stripping agent, to no avail. So Madness got her some blonde blonde blonde dye and ... uh.. yeah..[ insert shit on yourself laughter here ]

Ha! Never fear dear reader .. Madness is no dummy ... chocolate brown + blonde blonde blonde + peroxide stripping agent = HAWT.

Yeah ... Madness' hair is F I R E. Think of an orange flame .. thats it.

Pics to come.

Hot. MmmHmm ... just ask MaxX.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Packin it up and Movin it down ... all the way down

Madness is packin it up and movin it down ... for reals.

Been talking for months about movin the MadLands back home to Florida.. it starts now.

Madness has a lead on a sweet condo ... and a few houses. Madness has been scurred shatless about moving 1100 miles away. ELEVEN HUNDRED MILES. But then Madness figured .. there is here and here is there and then that there is there and here so... fuck it .. we're UP.

Hellooooo Stalkers

Yes..Madness knows youre here.. so she thought she'd say "Hi!"
Dont be shy ... say something .. dare ya.
Why oh Why is madness so ornery tooo-day?

Sunday, June 22, 2008


Madness hauled kids from here to there and there then there and back again today..
blah blah blah...
Madness found her Norah Jones CD ... and guess what ya'll .. playing Norah Jones in the MommaMobile *calmed the beasts* settled the children .. to a degree... and Madness too .. uh, yeah.
So Madness has binged and now purged and rearranged the music in her life.. because the music does not lie and right now Madness needs some truth that isnt going to send her

Saturday, June 21, 2008


Oh *sigh* oh...OhBama.

The only thing missing is the image of Dub'ya high tailin it outta whats left of the white house (..nation, world..what~have~ya) .. Madness invisions Dub'ya's truck loaded down with fancy paintings, classified coverups documents, copper wiring an'shit.

Tell Madness this isnt a scaryhopeful state of affairs.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Big Things

Big Things, you say?
Yeah..Big Things.

MaxX and Sir Rotham had another training day .. yeah.. Madness has failed to keep ya'll on her pups .. (stay tuned)

Training Day One : MaxX taught Sir Rotham to hop down the deck stairs... with the help of grilled bratwurst.. ha! Rotham loves him some treats.
Training Day Two : MaxX teaches Sir Rotham Mathias to Sit on command.
Whose a good boy? Rothams a good boy!

Oh, Brit? Yeah .. Brit is hard headed. Brit cant stay focused or still long enough to learn much of anything just yet... she's gonna take more time and attention. Rotham is so laid back at attentive he's having no problem learning all his puppy stuff.

Madness' pups are getting so big *sigh* soooo big.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Oh look! Its my blog

Good Morning stalkers readers ...
Madness has been MIA for a few days .. big things happening around the MadLands .. BIG things.
What things you ask? Oh.. a little of this and a little of that. Yep, some of that too.

To all my friends at SBO who are reading "Hi, Hello! I miss you!"

With any luck Madness will be back tonight and will give you something worth reading.


Ok, love you, bye.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Whose yer Daddy?

Madness is gonna leave that one alone and reflect on Daddy'oDay at the MadLands ... you can thank me later.

Daddy'oDay in the MadLands started in the wheeee hours of the morning ... MaxX and Me out on the deck watchin our two babiest of babies chase each other around the back yard... silly pups. Poor Rotham tries so hard to keep up with his big sister BritBrit... but baby brother Rotham is a much bigger boy and just doesnt have the speed and agility that Brit has. She runs his butt all over the place.

Madness *slept in* on Daddy'ODay .. MmmHmm.. she did... at Daddy'o's request. Im'a leave that alone for now too.

Madness awoke to a beautiful bright sunny warm day ... the grill was hot and the air filled with the flavor of BBQ. Laundry on the line blowing in the breeze .. kiddies putting finishing touches on glittery tokens of daughterly love for the DaddyMan.

Oh yeah, Madness almost forgot, this is early summer in the MidWest.. Ha! Storm rolled in ... lightening..thunder..cold heavy rain .. HAIL .. finish BBQing in the rain .. eh, that was kinda cool.

MadTheatre on Daddy'oDay... Stand By Me ... oh yeah.

Daddy schooled the kiddies on a cinematic classic.. and Madness was all "is this mothers day or somethin?"

The scent of Old Books and Ninja Monkies.

Photos of MaxX grilling in the rain ... coaxing puppies with bratwurst to walk down deck stairs and MaxX gettin MadLove from the wee ones coming soon .. KodakEasyShare is acting Janky at the moment. *snicker*

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Cause thats how Madness does shit sometimes

Have you ever felt like you literally need to hide from the world?
Do you know that you surely will NOT continue to breathe if you dont run and hide?
If youve ever damn near lost it and actually felt like you were gonna break then you know what Im talkin about.

Thing is .. Madness feels that way all.the.time.

And when you literally feel like you are going to break at every joint and cease breathing all.the.time you get to points where you panic.
I said "get to points" because if you recall .. the panic is constant.
You cant quiet a beast for long.
Sometimes I can get a grip on it all and stand somewhat steady .. but the beast always comes back and threatens total breakdown.

When the panic sets in ... the fucker sits down in 'rational thoughts' seat.
And sometimes .. thats how Madness does shit.

Wordless Wednesday on Thursday

Because Madness started a new job, and the kids are out of school, and MaxX is working days now ... all just in time for Madness' ManicMeltdown ... The Blog is suffering ...Wordless Wednesday on Thursday... hang on with me Internet .. Im trying.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

a terrible thirst for blame

foreWarned is foreArmed

things that make Madness go .. oh my.

Oh my.
What should have been a 7 day period was only 3.
PIMPLES on my face (note: Madness didnt even have acne in HighSchool!)
Two sunami size waves of heat and nausea resulting in vomit in as many days.
DONT touch my boobs!
Oh my.
Failed tubal ligation .. or mania mixed with stomach bug?
Oh my.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


~Six year old daughter: "Momma, can I have a popsicle for juice?"
~Madness: "No, eat your dinner"

*Six year old daughter rubbing her tummy*
*Madness notices the letters BELY written on six year old daughters tummy*

~Madness: "Who wrote BELY on your tummy"
~Six year old daughter: "*giggle* I did"
~Madness: "Dork. 'Belly' has two L's. Eat your dinner"
~Six year old daughter: "Two L's .. gotcha .. thanks"

Its quiet around the MadLands

like before the storm

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Happy Birthday MaxX

Today is the 16th birthday of yours that we have had together. We've come a long way from your 21st birthday spent in Aarons apartment ... So many years have gone by .. so fast.

I remember the moment I first saw you as clearly as if it were yesterday... standing in the arcade.. schoolin em all, MrBigMan.

So many people have learned the hard way...many more still yet to learn... that going head to head with MaxX is certain defeat. Ive always loved that about you... standing back and watching you claim victory after victory, with ease. Your soul feeds on the thrill of the extreme .. your spirit always driving for more, only relenting when your body rests.

The first day we met I fell in love with the way you protect that which you love. Because of you I dont know fear of the world, for I have always stood at my place under your watchful eye. Youre the reason I have no fear in my soul .. you've always protected me and defended me as you would the heart that pumps the blood through your veins.

There are loads of people out there who have seen you interact with a child .. those that have seen this have no doubt noted your gentle compassion .. few know as intimately as I do just how genuine and compassionate the love you have for a child really is. I was the one lucky enough to be the mother of your own.

I love the way you look at me, your eyes plead with me to feel the love in your heart. I love the way you say my name .. with the same tenderness as a kiss placed on a newborn babes nose.

We've been married for ten of these last 16 years and I still tingle when I hear you speaking to someone and you say "my wife". I love (and hate) the way you lean in just close enough so that I am sure to smell your skin when Im angry. You know that your scent is a drug I just cant resist.

I love that you adore every piece of me ... I love how I can make you say please and thank you.

I love that you'll stumble around the room in the dark looking for pants so you can go downstairs for the eighth time tonight to check out the noise that I.Know.I.Heard and you never complain. Every time you go, you come back to bed and wrap me back up in your arms and tell me to kick you harder next time I hear something. That is Love.

I love that youve handled each and every loose and lost tooth because your wussy wifey cant even talk about loose teeth without needing to be revived by defibrilator. (Dont worry, Danny was standing by after I typed that last bit and everything is fine .. he's a champ at CPR!)

I love the way you know everything there is to know about anything, and the way you share all that you know with the babies. I love the talent you have seeping from your soul and the desire burning in your heart.

For your 30th birthday I threw you a party with friends and family. Your cake said "Happy Birthday You Old Goat" and you didnt like that. I will apologize now, babe. I was wrong. I never should have put that on your 30th Birthday cake. You werent an old goat ...

But you ARE NOW!!

Happy Birthday Baby!

All my love now and every tomorrow,


Thursday, June 5, 2008

Hey Ya'll

The MadLands have moved .. for now .. we'll see how this works out.
Ive been trying to move my blog entries over here.. some of them dont have photos uploaded yet.
Feel free to click here to see the original postings in all of their edited form.

Dooce? Are you reading? Hmmm... Are you?

Madness cant help but wonder if the Almighty Dooce is sneaking over to the MadLands here and there.

Remember the other day when Madness described in song and YouTube what it feels like to be John Malkovich Madness? Yeah..

Well.. click here and go see what Dooce was up to last night... and TELL ME Dooce hasnt been skipping around the MadLands recently.. yes, yes.. see the DooceTracks?

Ahhh.. Dooce and Madness are tight like that.

dont let yourself be annoyed or bored with Hillary and OBama

Oh no.. dont do it. Dont even fix your mouth to complain about the Democratic presidential nomination process this election year. Do not complain that Hillary should just bow out as gracefully as possible right now. Do not start blahblahblahing the "my vote really doesnt count in the big picture" crap. Or the "I'll just let someone else go vote and let them chose for me because I'm too lazy to register, show up and vote" crap.

Read this interesting article here about just how close Hillary and Obama really ARE in this here race to become THE Democratic nominee for The Prez. Sure the whole thing may seem a little mucky with all the lah-tee-do about Florida and Michigan and other issues. This little article takes a look at this fuzzy math thats being talked about so much and that Hillary is heavily relying on as reason to STAY IN THE GAME.

Go read it and come back .. and then Madness would like to know if youre a) registered to vote b)if youve voted in your states PrezPrimary and c) why. All of you's who are registered and voted, Aces to You Friend. Those of you that arent and havent.. its.not.too.late. Click here and go register to vote. Then, SHOW UP on Election Day '08.

This article puts emphasis on what Madness has been saying for a while now. Clearly the "popular people" are demonstrating that the ticket we all want to see come November is Clinton/OBama or OBama/Clinton. Either way, people!

So yeah.. dont get annoyed with or bored with whats happening right now with the nomination process. Take a minute to soak in whats really going on, not only in UNITED STATES HISTORY but our FUTURE too. The state of everyday affairs for *everyday normal* Americans like you and me is scary and uncertain and the despairity is only worsening.
Any way we look at it, either John McCain *violent gut wrenching shudder*, Hillary Clinton or Barack OBama will be the next leader of the free world... and the free us. You and me, friend.

One of these folks is gonna make or break us. Yes, I said make or break us because, quite frankly... there isnt too much further down we can all fall before we are broken.
Stay tuned while Madness wonders what the hell is going on around here.
Madness would never ever ever tell anyone who they should love, honor, cherish or VOTE for. And Madness knows that NO ONE out there thinks that them there politicians up thar in Warshingtun are just a bunch of pompus jack asses and none of that bullarky has nothing to do with ME.

But just in case you know someone like that .. Madness offers this.
Yes friend.. the people we elect to run shit around here should most def' be of your concern for reasons. Heres TWO.

Madness defined

MadCommentary Coming Soon...

Madness thinks that if you had to describe what being inside the Mind of Madness looks and sounds like. This is it.

This song is what having a bipolar mind sounds like... it starts all boppity dumdum and kinda goes nuts .. calms down and goes nuts. Yeah. That about sums it up.

The video pretty much sums up Madness high school days... and three words describe Madness high school days .. Preppy Grunge Cheerleader.

*giggle* MaxX married a cheerleader (1992 Florida State Champs .. yeah)

Just one week into summer vacation and already the idea of spending 300 days alone on an island sounds heavenly.

The Queen of Shake Shake helped Madness realize just why the thought of 300 days alone on an island sounds heavenly. Schools Out! Ahhh yes. The joys of Parenting Five Children during Summer Vacation.

Madness' babies have been home from school for

Wednesday night Madness was going over the final preparation check lists with MaxX and she was all "We will not panic. We will not go crazy. (nevermind that one of us is already there) We will have a neat, orderly and organized summer vacation around the MadLands. There will be instructions left for the children daily...yes, LISTS of chores and reminders that the children will be beaten if they fight with each other that the children are responsible for themselves and each other and that we are expecting a tightly run ship around here!"

Yes. Summer Vacation around the MadLands is going to be *perfect* .. because Madness made LISTS. Madness even assured herself that we would NOT be eaten out of house and home by five ravenous beasts healthy growing kids by making daily menus. Yes. Madness is the shit.

Summer Vacation at the MadLands. Day One.
Madness pulled up her cell phone records for Thursday May 29, 2008, having clearly recalled the list on the fridge titled "EMERGENCY contact numbers". We've got mom and dads work and cell numbers, friends and family and co-workers cell, home and work numbers, 911 and the like. Madness cell phone records for Thursday list 39 calls from home. Thirty-nine. There were THIRTY-NINE EMERGENCIES on Thursday at the MadLands...consisting of :

"Teenage daughter wont make me breakfast." Even though Teenage Daughters list clearly states "Make breakfast for T and D". While refusing to feed T and D may constitute an emergency in YOUR book.. it does NOT in mine because ... ITS ON HER LIST. IT SHOULD BE DONE and thus no calls should have been made to Madness reporting that it wasnt.

"Momma, we took the puppies out." THAT is a "status update" which should have been reported during what we call a "Status Update Inquiry Call" placed FROM Madness TO her children, not the other way around... clearly not an emergency.
Other calls consisted of "I cant find any clean pants." "Can I have chips instead of bananas and graham crackers for my snack?" "Teenage Daughter is being mean to me." "The mail is here." ....
You get my drift.

Somewhere around NONemergency call number twenty Madness informed the children that "if my cell phone rings ONE MORE TIME and someone isnt BLEEDING or on FIRE .. I will beat you!" (It's ok.. Madness threatens to beat her children all the time. Its a term of endearment.)

Summer Vacation at the MadLands. Day Two.

Madness received far fewer calls from the MadLands on day two. Madness has deduced the reasoning for this in two parts.
First.. Big Brother was not home. Big Brother spent the night at a friends house. You see.. when Big Brother and Teenage Daughter were running the show on Day One .. there was what we call a Power Struggle. Too many chiefs .. er.. too many indians too, apparently. Big Brother removed .. One Chief left.. no power struggle.
Secondly.. Madness Teenage Daughter had been grounded a few weeks ago. Not just grounded.. oh no. GROUNDED. Madness imposed this exact sentence on Teenage Daughter: Grounded Until Christ Rises Again.

So.. the sucess of Summer Vacation at the MadLands. Day Two could also be contributed to the fact that Madness bribed compromised with Teenage Daughter. "I'll let you do something with your friends this weekend if you keep things under control around here." Deal.

Madness started to count the days till the kids go back to school but decided that she could very well land right back in the mental institution if she did she didnt.
Ahh yes.. Summer Vacation. Working Parents.. how do YOU survive summer vacation with your house, mind, grocery budget and JOB still intact? Madness needs hope ideas.

Stay tuned while Madness makes more lists.