THIS is Madness

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Madness is Gonna Get Dooced .. so she's gonna LAY OFF OF IT for a while from work .. k?

For Reals .. No More MadLands from work ... or Madness is gonna get Dooce'd.

Madness life is coming together .. its all coming into order .. so now Madness will have plenty of time to tend to her Internetlings from home .. and not work .. and maybe, just maybe, she wont get Dooce'd.

We shall see.

The MadLands are being overhauled .. stay tuned!

This is gonna be phun!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

~ Something is Stirring ~

Do you feel that?
Something is coming.

Like a thief in the night
as stealth as the whisper of the wind ...

He has been called.
and He has come.

because Thats How I Roll

How do you manage to SHUT MADNESS UP almost entirely? Sit her down at 2:00 am .. only 2 hours after she and the family finally finish moving. Thats how.

I keep finding myself sitting here staring at the screen.. knowing that I have this this this and that to tell ya'll ... yet my eyes just blur over and ... nothing.

Madness has been fussin at MaxX for days now to "stop letting me leave the house without my camera!!" Today, MaxX brought the camera along for me. Madness hearts MaxX.

But get this ... Madness had camera in hand all ding dang day and failed to snap pics of the best parts of the day!
Failed, Internet!! Which just proves that the problem doesnt lie with MaxX not reminding Madness to take her camera with her when she leaves the house ... the problem lies with Madness remembering to use the dang thang. Obscene.

MaxX and Madness met Cool Lady today. Dont know Cool Lady's name but she's cool. Cool Lady had a poster thingie that she made back in the day. It looked kinda like this:
Yeah ... Madness had camera in hand when she stood in Cool Lady's garage and took in the curious wonder of this poster thingie. Did Madness snap a pic ... hells no. Because thats how I roll.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Never Fear Constant Reader ~ Stephen is gonna sue Madness

Madness is returning, Internet. In addition to DeathWatch2008 starring BritBrit and Rotham .. Madness and the family moved over the weekend. Internet isnt yet working at the new place, even though AT&T said it would be working by 8pm yesterday. Now they are saying it will be on tomorrow.
Evil Rae of Death, anyone?
So yeah ...

Brit Brit is home .. Rotham is still making us worry some but he's not throwing up or spewing blood from his butt .. so we are hopeful. Worried but hopeful.

Stay Tuned Internet ... Madness is on her way back ... with MadStories to tell!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Madness wants her ticket OUT of the Twilight Zone, K?

BritBrit is coming home today ... everybody say "Yay!"

Yeah .. well .. these are the MadLands .. 'member?

Rotham is sick.
Yes Internet, you heard Madness.

This is Madness.

Monday, July 21, 2008

BritBrit Onasis

Afternoon Report:

BritBrit has had NO loose or bloody stool today.

**I can see clearly now the rain is gone**


Oh .. almost forgot .. *HI Crazed Stalkers* .. yes, I'm looking at YOU.

PuppyUpdate V .. VI .. ?? aka .. Madness cant see straight anymore ..

Dr Anderson says BritBrit is making "puppy steps" (pardon his pun) ... she is now shitting pudding as opposed to spraying the joint down with diareah ..
WOOHOO Brit.. thats my GIRL!!
He says she is also being more wiggly and feisty when they handle her and change her fluids, so thats a good sign too. He thinks maybe another 24 hours in wonderland and she just might pull through this.

Madness refers to the hospital as wonderland because by the time we're done paying for this we might as well have bought

Oy Vey.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

PuppyUpdate IV

BritBrit is in the trusted hands of Dr Anderson as we speak. He says she needs Fluids, Antibiotics, Crossed Fingers and Prayers. She will be spending the weekend in the hospital.

She has to make it, Internet. She just has to.

PuppyUpdate III

BritBrit Onasis isnt getting better. Do you hear me, Internet? She isnt getting better.

Stay tuned while Madness considers talking to the guy downstairs ... because NO, Internet ... Im not going to watch her die. Im not.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Puppy Update II

Rotham is still doing well .. he seems to have snapped out of it. Thank you Jeebus.

BritBritOnasis on the other hand is still draggin her little ass. The vet gave her the same treatment that Rotham got ... we brought her home last night and she rested .. we were hoping that the morning would bring our fiesty bratty ornery crazy-whacka-a-doodle-doggie back to us.

She doesnt seem to be getting worse .. but she hasnt snapped back to health in the blink of an eye like Sir Rotham did.

Please stay tuned while Madness pulls God aside and jacks him up.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Puppy Update

Rotham is holding strong .. doing well still today.

Now BritBrit is sick. Yes Internet, it's true ... BritBrit is sick.

We have an appointment at the vet at 4:45 today.

Stay Tuned while Madness has another word with God.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Standing Vigil .. ok .. not that serious ... yet.

Madness doesnt even know where to begin..

To start though.. apologies in advance if this is the worst, most blumbering blog post ever .. but youre just gonna hafta understand...

Rotham is sick... and Im not talkin about 'got into the trash upset tummy sick' .. we're talkin Death Sentence Sick .. and NO Im not overreacting , Internet!

Allow Madness to digress so's that you understand what we're talkin'bout here.

'member last Saturday .. blah blah Family visit with Friends .. blah blah .. Rotham and Brit visit with sister Cookie .. blah blah ..... No? click here and catch up, k?

Youre back? Are you caught up? Good.

.. so yeah .. Madness has been holdin out on ya, Internet... only because she just couldnt choke up the balls to actually say it .. but now she has to.

Cookie, Rotham and Brits sister, died Monday morning.

Parvo. Oh Dear God I Said It.

We didnt know Cookie was sick when we went to visit. We didnt know. By the time we were told that Cookie "wasnt acting like herself lately" it was too late. By then all we could do was watch and wait. It was too late.

Our vet said that if they were going to get sick .. it would happen within 5-10 days. Today is day four.

If you recall .. Madness was suppose to be in training all day *shudder*. Blah Blah ...

1:00 pm - Madness phone rings. "I finally got you!" ... "Ive been in meetings..whats up" ... "Mom, when I opened the kennel to take the puppies out, Rotham wouldnt come .. he wouldnt RUN mom!" ... "Call Dad ... NOW".

1:30 pm - MaxX confirms ... Rotham is not well.

2:19 pm - Message from MaxX .. "Call me!"

3:00 - 2 hours and 17 calls to every vet in the tri-county area (seriously) ... Madness is on the rush home .. we have an appointment ...cities and counties away... with the only vet open and compassionate enough to see us.

4:10 - MaxX, Madness, Brit and Rotham arrive in PoeDunkVille .. we were given instructions to pull around back and the vet would meet us outside ... yeah ... it is that serious.

(Madness is digressing again.. deal with it) ...

Reader, are you a Mom? or a Dad? Have you ever held your sick child in your arms and felt hopeless and desperate when overhearing a doctor or nurse say something that made you look at your child and into your soul and fear for their life? I have.

Today it happened again.

The vet tech lady that met us behind the animal hospital took a fecal sample from my Rotham and the only words she said after seeing the swab were "thats not good" ... and Madness almost collapsed.

You see, Internet, Madness didnt realize that these two pups found themselves a place in the deepest depths of her heart .. until today. Phooey me all you want ... those pups are my babies every bit as much as her, him, him, her and her.

6:30 pm - MaxX, Madness, Brit and Rotham arrive home. Rotham got him some IV fluids, a nice IM injection of antibiotics and an anti-inflamatory and we're home ... to watch .. and wait.

Rotham is doing well. He's hydrated and rested and seems to be pulling through. We are still very much in 'watch and wait' mode ... but we are hopeful.
We are watching Brit closely too .. and thus far, she shows zero signs of ailment. MaxX and Me discussed the fact that Brit is just plain too damn full of FIRE to get sick. Ornery little Bitch. Just like her Momma.

Why Madness has a Lump on her Head

Does anyone out there know how Madness feels about sitting through Meetings or Training Sessions? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?

Madness has a hard time sitting through a 30 minute meeting ... today Madness is in training ALL.DAY.LONG. Two hours in to it and Madness already has a concussion from BEATING HER HEAD AGAINST THE WALL.

Today is going to suck donkeyballs.

Monday, July 14, 2008

because Madness does NOTHING right ...

... and Madness doesnt have a word to say. Not. one. word.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

The Money Shot

Today MaxX and Madness and all 7 babies visited with Friends. Friends are the owners of Brit and Rothams sister, Cookie. Friends and Cookie have a houseguest, Chico, a 3 year old chiuaua who believes he's an eighty pound rotweiller named Brutus. Thats Chico running to catch up with MaxX, Rotham and Brit.

Chico is very friendly and made sure that he personally introduced himself to Brit and Rotham.

Brit, Rotham and Chico had an easy like Sunday Morning kind of day..running the yard, digging holes, playing with kids ...

and then ... things got a little too friendly..

wait for it ...

The Money Shot

Friday, July 11, 2008

Because Madness and Dooce are like *this*

Seriously though ... Dooce is so totally consumed with MadEnvy!

Earlier today Madness told ya'll about watching Grease and having a kick ass theme song to accompany her through the day. Madness was at work when she posted that and was sneaking around on the internet so's that she could share that with you .. at the risk of being Dooced, internet! Madness hopes youre appreciative of her sacrifice!
Anyway .. last night was the first time Madness watched Grease in sixteen years and she came to a realization ... and DAMNED if Dooce didnt have that same.ding.dang. realization herself! Today! No joke. Only one small difference .. Dooce is talkin'bout Grease II with Michelle Pfeifer and Madness is talkin'bout Grease with OliviaNewtonWhatsHerName.. John Travolta. Click here to see what Dooce had to say bout'that.

Speakin of Dooce and my post from earlier today ... remember that other bit of random madness that was forgotten just that fast ?
Here it is .. (what a coincidence .. this here is also compliments of Dooce) Yes, you gotta click that link too so's you can read the caption for this particular dose of The Daily Chuck .. you can thank me later.

Madness hearts this particular dose of The Daily Chuck because she would rock that hair if she could pull it off ... oh.hell.yes.she.would.

Grease is the word ...

Madness is a lucky girl today because last night was Movie Night with the kiddies. We watched Strange Brew .. "Take off Hoser!!" ha!

But more importantly .. we watched Grease ! Oh Yeah.

And so Madness is a lucky girl today because Madness has the Grease theme song IMBEDDED in her brain. Imagine living your life with the theme song to Grease as your background music. Oh Yeah.

Guess what .. there was one more random thing that Madness was going to share with you, constant reader .. but she forgot .. that fast. Wooosh!

Eh. Check back I guess.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Im just saying

Seriously though..

Madness isnt a total bitch (or psycho, or lunatic or whatever else ya'll are calling me ... yeah I know em all) ... and neither are you.

Vicki may [details omitted because Madness isnt trying to put it ALL out there ... *yet* .. ] .. but Vicki also bakes kick ass cakes for her kids birthdays .. and shes a nurse. MmmHmm. RN baby. Registered Nurse. So Vicki is no numb brain either. Vicki is a beautiful woman, mother of wonderful children.. shes lived through unimaginable despair ... pain the likes of which you and I have never known... and she continues to live and raise her family and face each day. Bear, I have great respect for you. I truely do. Love, Madness.

Laura may [details omittied because Madness isnt tyring to put it ALL out there ... *yet* .. ] .. but Laura is also the mother of a beautiful daughter. I know nothing more of M that what Ive seen in the pictures that I had no business looking at .. but what I know of Lauras daughter is that she is a happy, healthy, kind, smart, loved and cared for young lady who is becoming a young woman and discovering her way in life. I respect thtatLaura is a hard working single mother who has her head on straight and tight. I envy the bond between Laura and Jacki .. or at least the bond I imagine they have. Everyone needs to have their girls at their side.

Sam. Youre just a kid. Lord knows there isnt a day that passes that I dont want to smack that cheshire grin straight off your face ... but at the same time there isnt a day that passes that Im not aware that ... youre just a kid. If you really are pregnant .. I wish you all the best. This is a time in your life that you should cherish for eternity and beyond. I honestly hope that youve got your life in order by the time your child arrives. This is it Sam. I truely wish you all the best in life. (I was bein all nutso whacko cause I just wanted you to stay out of mine).

Riss. Oy Vey. Riss. Am I going here? yeah.. I am .. on account of youre still here. Again I have MadRespect for you. Wife and mother of four kick ass kids. MadRespect for putting your mind to it and going back to school, sister... hells yeah.. I did that myself... it was an awesome experience that I wasnt quite ready for at the time .. but I got a lot out of it and hope to finish one day. So yeah.. I respect you for all that.

Im just sayin.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Madness Hearts Lurking Readers

Another of Madness' fav things to do is to visit her statcounter and try to figure out who each of her readers is.

Madness has a spot on some of you ...
Others are keeping her guessing.
Oh What Fun!

Dont worry readers ... Madness will post again soon and give you more of the PUREMadness that you just.cant.resist.


Sunday, July 6, 2008


Post 4th of July Recovery .. also knows as July 5th.

Attempt to get up.
Eat BBQ hubby dutifully and lovingly prepared.
Drive to sons friends house and deliver video game connector jack wire for multiple game system thingie whatever that thing is.
Video Store! Score!
Watch cool flick with hubby and kids that made us all go 'the END?!?!"...
followed by realization that cool flick is based on a literary series ... Aces.!
Crazy Pups .. sit, beg, do anything for a treat.
CoolCat .. Noisy Kitty.
Monkey eating Kitties.
Misbehaving ornery daddies.
Giggly babies.
Heating pads.
Nose Bleeds.
The curse of 2:32 am broken at last!


Dear StepMother,

Confess your secret to her ... if your child has a secret that warrants tearful confession ...
then you owe her the knowledge of it.


View this weeks online secrets at

Madness momma ...

ha! MaxX. which one of these is Madness momma?

About that...

Click here to read about this thingy: (they call it The Large Hadron Particle Collider) dont be lazy, click it.... about that ... uh ... hmmm ... yeah.
Madness has these thoughts .. in no particular order:
1) Armageddon
2) The End of Days
3) Didnt your momma ever teach you not to fuck with shit that could destroy human kind?
4) Duck and Cover
5) Shock and Awe .. ha!
6) uh ... hmmm ... yeah.

Saturday, July 5, 2008


One of Madness fav things to do is visit and click through the photos of the week ... since Madness knows not everyone does this.. she thought she'd share some of her favs with you ...

You can thank me later.This photo was taken earlier this year and tugs so very strongly at Madness' heart .. you see.. Madness stood in this very spot as a child .. time and again .. looking to the heavens in awe. This is a photo of the space shuttle Endeavor lifting off during the night. You cant fully appriciate the fantastic wonder thru a mere photo, but trust Madness .. this is an awesome event.
Because Madness was once a young girl .. and perhaps, reader, so were you ... and because Madness has three young girls ... this photo makes Madness squeal and sigh .. because times they are a changin. (this is a photo of a 4 year old girl playing in confetti after a rally for Presidential Hopeful HILLARY CLINTON .. who was also once a young girl).

... because Madness *also* has the audacity of hope. Michelle, Barack..if youre listening ... Madness is placing her hope square on your shoulders... thanks for carrying that for me, for mine, for us.

These are John Lennons tinted prescription glasses being held infront of his handwritten lyrics to "Give Peace a Chance". Stunning.

Photos of Fourth of July fun coming soon ...

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Coming soon..

MadStoryTime ~ Whose My Baby Daddy?

Stay Tuned .. you WONT want to miss this.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

.. thats why my .... wants to ...

Madness needs to make certain this point is very clear

there is one reason why its been considered .. ONE REASON ONLY.


there is one reason why it hasnt happened .. ONE REASON ONLY.



Quit'cha cryin ManBitchandtheSkrank .. its not your fault youre laughable.
Why again are you stalkin my page .. as if Im ever gonna have anything nice to say.
Thought you knew.

Madness Breakin It Down

Since youre all on ma'shit today .. chew on this.

It was brought to Madness attention this evening that the following points require clarification:

Madness never said your TubeTops were what made you look like a Man, Lady.

Madness said you look like a Man AND your TubeTops are ridiculous.

MaxX said your TubeTop doesnt make you look like a Man.

MaxX never said he didnt think you look like a Man, in general.

If you knew a ding dang thang about MaxX then you'd see his irresistible wink and grin when he says such things .. but you dont so you wont .. see it, see.. ManBitch... (yes, you've evolved from ManLady to ManBitch .. ManBitch rolls off the tounge much more smoothly and it makes MaxX chuckle)

(Only moments after Madness mentioned MaxXs irresistible winky and grin .. moments I tell you .. MaxX tapped Madness on her shoulder and she saw the sticker that HE picked from the sticker sheet BabyD gave Momma and Daddy to chose from ...
the blue winky grinning face.)

**Madness' sticker says Ay-dub-ya-ee-ess-oh-em-ee. Awesome.**

Madness knows you'll appriciate this little work, MB... yeah.. I know you kinda likey me. Ha!

Ok.. so Madness has a full time job, and by full time job she means
45 hours a week there.
168 hours a week here, Momma, (times Five
168 hours a week there, Wife.
168 hours a week working out the logistics of a very delicate move from here to there (want me to break that one down .. ask me .. I will.)
168 hours a week keeping this from ending up there.
168 hours a week dealing with him her her and them.

And what was Madness saying? Oh .. yeah... Madness has a full time job to get back to. Peace.